A Peak into My Book

April 13, 2010 at 9:17 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

I thought this post I’d give you a little sneak peak into my book.  I’ve got it 99% completed, from a writing standpoint.  A first draft is in the hands of a marketing consultant friend who is reading it and going to give me her ideas for a title, chapter titles, cover design, and an “identity” for me!  Pretty exciting!  I always chuckle at the word, “identity”- like I don’t know who I am… but I know I need to get some really “COOL” image- it seems like all the good ones are taken.  Can’t wait to see what we come up with!

I spent about 30-45 minutes each day last week going through the hospital records of when my twin girls were born 3 months premature.  On Thursday last week, I got to about 10 days before Amber died and decided the rest of the documents would have to wait ’til over the weekend to read through.  I just didn’t want to do that during the week and still work on my SendOutCards business, and try to be upbeat and in good spirits talking with others.  So I did finish going through those on Saturday.  I knew this day would come.  Other than very early on after Amber died, I have not looked through those records in 15 years.  It was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done.  But I needed to do it, to get names of medicines, dates, procedures, right in my book, names of nurses, doctors, others, if I choose to use real names, I’m still researching the pros/cons of that.  I also read through the diary I kept during that time.  There was another family that we met within just a day or 2 of being at the Hospital, they also had twin girls born extremely early, she suggested to me to keep a diary.  It was one of the best ideas given to me, I wouldn’t have even thought of it otherwise, I wasn’t a diary keeper before that.  I am so glad I have that written record of my own thoughts, feelings and observations from the time we spent with them in the hospital.  I didn’t write alot or much detail, due to mostly time and exhaustion and being overwhelmed.  I wish now I would of been more specific and thorough.  But I’m grateful for what I do have.

I’ve learned so much since then and I am really looking forward to sharing my story, my book, with others.  I hope they will take away from it a sense of  joy mixed in with some motivation, help, ideas or more.  Even though we lost Amber, and we went through a long period of grief, sorrow and pain, it led me on a path that I can look back on now and know that her 55 days had a purpose.  I was in a class recently at our Church, and our Priest said, “Nothing is wasted by God, He’ll always draw good out of suffering.  It’s our choice to trust in Him.”  WOW! Powerful stuff!  I sorta knew this, I think I had heard it many, many years ago- but obviously wasn’t in a place in my life where it impacted me nearly as much as this time.  The thing is, is for 2 years after losing Amber, I didn’t trust God anymore.  I lost Faith, hope and even love.  Then I turned things around and began again.  It was a slow process.  But as I did, I learned how to be better, stronger; emotionally, and Spiritually.

As other events took place in my life, several years after Amber & Bridget were born, people began telling me my story would make a great book.  I’d never thought of myself as an author before, I thought it would be something cool to do, but what would I write about?  Now I know.  The words just seem to flow write off my fingers.  I’m excited to share it, I hope those who read it will take away something wonderful to help them, either see an event in their past differently and in a better light, and also inspire them to make their future the best it can be!

Make today the best day ever!

Amy

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2 Comments »

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  1. Wow Amy, I had no idea that you had lost a child. I cannot even imagine what that must have been like or is still like. You’re a strong gal and your quote from the priest is exactly something that I needed to hear at this point in our lives. It’s been a rough year and sometimes I feel my faith weakening. Thanks for the peek!

    • Tammy~ thanks for the comment. I know you’ve had a rough year. There’s so much I could tell you- but it’d make a book!- oh yeah! That’s what I’m doing! If I could give you one piece of advise, besides what I wrote in my post, would be to watch the self talk. I got down in my pitty party and literally made life worse. It’s okay to feel your feelings, you have to let them out. But I held on to negative emotions for so long it brought on more negative crud into my life. There’s many books, DVD’s, out there to choose from on the subject. Let me know if I can help in any way!


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